Don't look at me like that. He's hot, okay? Or more accurately, I've been watching a lot of Frasier, recently, and I keep noticing little weird things about him that disguise themselves as hot. Or maybe they don't disguise themselves. Maybe they are just hot. I don't know.
I've compiled a list, to help me decide:
1. He's really hairy. I know when you look at him it doesn't seem like he's hairy, but I promise he is. You can take my word for it. Though really, you're going to have to take my word for it because I mysteriously can't find a bare-chested picture of him.
2. Whenever he's about to say something witty, he gets this little cheeky glint in his eye. I deeply enjoy the contrast between witty, and cheeky. As though witty to him is just cheeky, because he's that brilliant or I don't know. I'm just rambling now about stuff in his eyeballs.
3. All the random bursts of total horniness. He's uptight and stuffy and he wipes chairs down before he sits on them. And yet he lusts like a lusty thing on lust day after Daphne, and various other women on the show. If you read this blog often, you'll know why this bangs my gong. Because I like men who are probably gay sniffing a woman's hair, I guess.
4. He's one of the greatest comedy characters to ever be on television. No really, he is. He's all the things that Frasier isn't, and all the ridiculous lengths Frasier won't go to. His comic timing is impeccable, he's sharp and dry and has an imaginary wife for most of the series. He utters the immortal line "You got to pick where you would be having your sleepings", and forever after I've called falling asleep as doing sleepings. Few characters come close to Niles Crane in terms of comedic flawlessness- maybe Blackadder. Possibly Bender. Could be that Rimmer makes it.
But the problem with Rimmer and Blackadder and Bender?
They're not Niles Crane.