Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Fings What I Like

It will come as no surprise to you, Bertha, that I like submissive men. But I think it might only be certain types of submissive men, who do certain things, in a certain way. I'm very specific, apparently, when it comes to stuff what I like.

For example, I like the idea of nerdy, dorkish Gabriel Gray, stumbling through sex like a blind man in a nunnery. I like the idea of his brain being all: oh God no I don't masturbate not ever ever IT'S A SIN! SEX IS DIRTY! OH ALL RIGHT THEN.

A bit like in this tremendously orsum fic, from amazingly talented erotic fanfiction writer, Perdiccas:

I like the idea of a really hot, manly dude, like...say...Alex O'Loughlin's character in The Shield, being all sexually flexible and up for anything and oh, you want me to crawl around on all fours while you paddle my ass with that ping pong bat? OH ALL RIGHT THEN.

But I don't like this:

Because it just makes me laugh, rather than doing what it's probably supposed to do. As some sort of half-assed kinker for femdom, I should really like this picture. Right? But I don't, because he looks stupid and he's crying way too much and he's not in any kind of sexy position.

Where as this, on the other hand:

Yeah, I like that. He's big and hunky, he's wearing a business suit, and he looks really pouty about the whole thing. But in a good way. Plus I think I like it because it's almost believable, you know? Like something you could just end up doing, almost by accident. Oh, is that some rope, lying around?

Take it, moody business bitch.

And then there's this:

Which makes me go: unf.

But this totally doesn't:

Because LOL.

But just to be clear: if you like men in cages, I'm not mocking you. More power to you. Get down with your bad self. I just can't get into it, without laughing. Unless it's Sylar in a cage, rattling the bars. Then I'd totally poke a banana in, for him to eat.

P.S. If you would like to see more pictures like this, find them at this totally orsum site:

Some of them are beautiful, some of them are LOL, all of them are NSFW.


  1. Waah, dude in a cage is just, as you say, a bit silly. I find the same is true for my mirror-image kink for a dominant male. Not so keen on this look:

    This guy, on the other hand, is v v good:

  2. LOL Justine! I have to say, I'm thankful you're not keen on the *actual* gorilla look. I wonder what my equivalent of that would be...hmmm. A killer whale? Looks tough and angry and sexy, but really you can just make it perform all sorts of tricks.

    Until it eats you, that is. /bad taste

    As for your other example...yeah! I could get on board with him. If he'll let me attach coat hangers to his nipples, that is.

    I guess it depends on the twin moons of attractiveness and non-laughability. And by attractiveness, I don't mean only hot dudes need apply. I just know. Don't look like Mommy said you couldn't have cake today.

  3. I think the Gorilla's sweeeeet!

    It's funny - i like the idea of a guy being dominant during sex. But if they self-define as dominant (especially in that well-groomed man-at-C&A manner on that book cover) and do it in other aspects of their life I just snigger and think "What a twat. He's so up himself." I find loners sexier than dominants.

    God: women - they're impossible to please!

  4. God, yes, Janine, the self-definition is key. If they barge around being rude to secretaries and shouting into their mobiles, they are simply twats. Confidence, yes; assertiveness, yes; egomania, really no. But stiff & remote by day and all passionate and whip-wielding by night, yes yes yes. (Could blether on about this indefinitely...)

  5. Janine- LOL man at C&A. But yes yes yes to loners. I can get on bored with a dominant man if he's a loner. And maybe also like Justine said- stiff and remote.

    Justine- I'd say shouting into mobiles and being an egomaniac probably means they swing more to my side of the fence, when the bedroom door's closed- hee hee! And I love stiff and remote, but have to say I love it a leetle bit more when it's stiff and remote and repressed and HOMG whut r u doin 2 me??!!

  6. Man in suit tied up is very very hot!

  7. Hi Charlotte!

    Saw this and thought of you. It looks like Zachary Quinto trying to suck his own cock. Have you seen it?

  8. Leetid- HOMG he's hot.

    Jessica- For drawing this important image to my attention, I will now be your slave forever.

  9. oh, my god, my lovely. when i got to "But I don't like this:" I damn near spit my wine all over my pretty computer.

    Thank you for making me "LOL--out loud" (as Mr. Monk would say). And I agree. I am very much into Dominant men and my very super secret (ahem) streak of submissiveness...but can appreciate a pretty boy sub when I see one. And even want to make him cry a bit, if you must know, but nipple hanger man hot...cage boy. not. To men at least. The beauty of kink. To each her own.


  10. *cough* that should say "to me, at least" not to men at least. though I'm sure lots of men find cage boy hot. and want to make him cry...

    *hangs head, pours more wine due to poor spelling abilities*


  11. Now look what I did. I missed Sommer Marsden's comments on my blog! I just don't look at old posts- if you read this, Sommer, I'm sorry!

    And yeah, I made you laugh! And also feel like I've gotten you to admit super sekrit dark feelings about wanting to make pretty boy subs cry. I'm converting people, one lover of dominant men at a time. Soon the world will be full of pervos like me, kicking men in their butts.