That majesty's totally for reals, too. Because you're the Queen of Erotica. Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, well now you do.
A couple of words on how you came to be the Queen of Erotica:
1. By being orsum, constantly. I think it's just your natural state. You wear orsum, like an orsum coat.
2. You write blog posts that sometimes terrify me. But they only terrify me because I am reminded of how many levels of cool and sex and cool I'd have to climb, to be seven thousand rungs below you on the Ladder of Ultimate SexCool.
3. Despite your place at the top of the Ladder of Ultimate SexCool, you are the least obnoxious blogger in the world. Never seeming to have your head up your butt or be sneering down at less cool people is a very underrated and under used skill by many less than you, but you manage to not be a butthead or a sneerer effortlessly, always.
4. Your novels, your stories, your anthologies- I mean come on. What else needs to be said?
5. Finally and most importantly: there is barely another writer/editor/everything but the kitchen sinker who dedicates so much of their time to helping other writers- sometimes writers that you barely know. Nor are there many writers who dedicate so much time, and do not seem to realise how much help, how much support, how much door opening they do. Just the fact that you run those weekly story comps- I find that amazing, and amazingly generous.
And now I'm embarrassed that I wrote this, because it's all gooshy and smooshy and ew. Even so: Happy Birthday, Alison.
One of your many, many, many loyal subjects.