Well, technically it's going to be a Mancandy Monday that covers more than one thing written by Jeremy Edwards, but "Mancandy Monday: Stuff Written By Jeremy Edwards" sounded weird. And "Mancandy Monday: Jeremy Edwards" sounded even weirder. Sort of like I sit outside his house every night, in a tree, with night vision goggles on. And that's okay if it's Sharlto Copley we're talking about, because I almost never talk to Sharlto Copley and I don't care if he's scared.
But I care if Jeremy Edwards is scared, because he's orsum. And don't just take my word for it. Here are his own words, saying stuff, from the wonderful Laura The Laugher:
"She looked fancier in her near nudity than most women looked in ballroom gowns. The two-piece silk outfit that glimmered around her breasts and hips—it seemed too grand to be called a “bikini”—was two or three shades of watermelon deeper than the empty areas of the spotlight, falling somewhere between flamingo and vulva on the Pantone wheel. Hundreds of individual pieces of silk had been sewn together to form the garment, mimicking the texture of feathers and creating a ticklish effect for the observer."
See, Jeremy Edwards doesn't just describe things. He describes things in a way that a) gives you a clear and clean and exciting visual, and yet somehow, simultaneously, includes b) words and worlds and terms and things you've never heard of. How does he do it??
I just don't know. I always think of the term "wordsmith" when I think of Jeremy Edwards' writing, but somehow that doesn't seem adequate enough. "Wordking", maybe? Only saying "wordking" implies he sits on a throne and has a big crown and laughs when we can't understand his glorious technicolour tapestries of words, where as he has the absolute nerve to make his work accessible and sexy, too! Rock My Socks Off, the fabulous novel that is properly released today in the UK - yes, today! Why haven't you bought it yet?? -
- is so warm, charming, funny and sexy that I'd hate him, if he were not too orsum to hate. Because that's the thing about Jeremy Edwards. Not only is he a brilliant writer and some sort of Lord of the Erotica scene, he'll take the time to say lovely things about other erotica writers' work. He's not shy with his praise. And his praise is a thing to behold. Several times he's reduced me to tears of relieved happiness, though I want to be clear- I'm not writing this blog to return the favour. After all, Jeremy Edwards did write this:
"Her light summer skirt was just billowy enough that a hand could slip under it without unduly stressing the fabric. Whether a hand was or wasn't making itself at home beneath this sort of skirt could be a woman's own secret - and, of course, that of the hand's owner."
Which isn't even the sexiest, filthiest or most lyrical excerpt from Rock My Socks Off. It's just a bit I felt would leave you wanting more. It does, doesn't it. So you'd better go buy it, hadn't you.