1. I'd like to bone his ham.
2. I'm horny for ham.
3. I want to go into the john, and have some ham.
4. Eating ham turns me on.
5. Ham ham ham ham.
There. I feel much better now- like I've lanced a ham boil.
And so now, I can go onto describing his handsomeness, in great and varied detail. Or CAN I? Because unfortunately, Jon Hamm is so excrutiatingly handsome, he defies description. Even saying the words that vaguely explain his handsomeness, is enough to contravene the laws of reality and send the earth spinning off its axis and into the heart of the sun.
I fear posting pictures of him. I don't want to end up in the sun. Looking at his face is like seeing the sun, close up.
I tell you what. I'll post a picture of him where he doesn't look so incredibly handsome that it warps the mind and hurts the eyes and causes death by spontaneous orgasms. Because, you see, Jon Hamm is also very funny (see his SNL appearances, for confirmation). I know, I know. What was God thinking, when he handed out all this bounty to one dude?
I just don't know. Maybe he was thinking: Sergio.