Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Mancandy Tuesday: Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish

Yes it's more Game of Thrones just shhh ok? Let me have my feelings. Let me have my feelings. My feelings are burning out of control in the groinal region for this GQ motherfooker right here:

Rolling into King's Landing in his pimp mobile, with his badass self all up in Ned Stark's face, going on about how Catelyn Stark totally gave it up to him that one time because Jesus Christ how could she not? I'd have given it up to him the moment he clicked his fingers, despite the fact that he is:

a) A fictional character in a series of fantasy novels by George RR Martin.

b) A total pervert, perving all over a thirteen year old girl. Though luckily, Sansa Stark looks about twenty-seven in the TV adaptation, so I don't have to get too skeeved out every time I watch Aidan Gillen (the guy who plays Petyr) almost lick her shoulder with his long, lascivious tongue. And yes I know Aidan Gillen has a long lascivious tongue because over the weekend I watched him RIM SOME GUY on the TV show Queer as Folk. Which begs two questions: why did I not have this show in my life before? And: why did I not have this show in my life before? IT HAS AIDAN GILLEN RIMMING SOMEONE IN IT. HIS TONGUE ACTUALLY GOES BETWEEN SOME GUY'S CHEEKS I SWEAR TO GOD I ALMOST MELTED.

c) A complete bastard. No, no really, he's a bastard. And I'm not even really spoiling what happens next in the TV show saying that, because just fooking look at him, for God's sake:

They couldn't have made him more obviously evil looking if they'd given him a scar down one side of his face and a pointed black hat.

And even if the look of him with his evil pedo beard isn't enough, the fact that he is played by Aidan Gillen should be an almighty giveaway. Because not only has Aidan Gillen made a career out of playing some of the skeeviest characters man ever put to celluloid, there is also a picture of him out there looking like this:

I mean, just take a long look at that picture. Have you ever in your life seen a more evil looking human being? I didn't even know they MADE humans that evil. It's like all the evil in the world is shining right out of his eyeballs. I'm afraid to look at them, and they're only made out of pixels on my computer screen!

Though in all honesty, that picture is probably like the movie Ring. You look into his demonic eyes and the next thing you know, he's crawling out of your computer screen in a weird backwards crab double jointed horror show, to eat your immortal soul. I can feel him eating it now, as I type this. I want to urge you to run, run from the terror of Aidan Gillen's unholy stare, but the truth is I'd only be doing it so he crawls out of my computer screen and not yours.

I mean, I'm bound to get a couple of minutes in between screaming and being turned into a rigid corpse. I could totally do him in that time. He's so hot I'm certain it'd only take me a matter of seconds to tear his kit off and have sex with his face.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He's evol. Just look at him. He probably does it the bad way. With, you know. Things. And stuff.

By God I want to do things to his stuff.


  1. Charlotte, where have you been? How could you not know that Aidan Gillen has a snake like tongue that actually goes between some guys cheeks on an actual TV show? Have you been hiding under a rock? LOL! He's not my type, but he does do charming evil very well.

  2. Want to do dirty things with and to Littlefinger rather badly. Also, I need therapy.

  3. Charlotte SteinMay 3, 2011 at 6:44 PM

    Madelynne- I know, I know, I'm so embarrassed. How have I not watched it, yet? I mean, I was pretty young when it came out but even so. Mortified. And he most certainly does! I think I'm also ashamed that I've never actually fancied him before. He's like the unholy lovechild of Gary Oldman and Paddy Considine. WITH AN IRISH ACCENT. He's amazeballs.

    Amy- You too?? Hooray! We can go to therapy together. "Okay, so there's this guy and he's a total pedo sleazeball psycho who can kill people with his eyeballs, Ring-style. But we LOOOOOVE HIM HELP US."

  4. I was having the worst day and now I have laughed until wine came out of my nose AND I have a new crush! He may be evil but I love him double because of this ;D I also have never watched Queer as Folk but now I will immediately go and find it! Thank you for making my day a much happier place Charlotte - your blog posts are the best x

  5. Lexie- Hooray again! Another person as mad as me. And you're welcome, darlin'. I'm just spreading the love!