Bearded, wears sultry red, is massive (probably all over), gives loads of pressies and has a fabulous bachelor pad, despite only working one day a year.
What more could a girl want? And especially when he's Tim Allen, as he is in the pic above. What? Tim Allen is kind of hot, in a nice Dad sort of way.
Plus Santa would be a total slut for you. You know he would be. Check out his catchphrase:
Ho ho ho!
What other interpretation of those words could there be? Unless he means that he'd like YOU to be his ho ho ho, in which case- right on, Santa. I'll be leaving more than milk and a mince pie under MY tree, for you.
Merry Christmas, Everybody!