Okay, so he's clearly a maniac. I know that. But (if you know who I'm talking about) bear with me, all right? Because here is Charlotte Stein's all amazing totally brilliant earth-shaking list of reasons why Andy Bernard from The Office (American version) would be totally knee-trembling in the sack:
1. I swear to God, I have never seen a bulge the likes of which my eyes didst layeth upon when watching Andy in his underwear in The Hangover. Angels wept, I promise. And they mostly wept because they knew that no matter how much soul saving they did, their cocks would never be as huge as what Andy is shockingly hiding in his underpants.
2. Not that a huge cock always matters, in the awesome-in-the sack department. But seriously. He could impregnate Godzilla with that thing.
3. He goes way way out of his way to do stuff, just to make a girl happy. Like presenting her with the twelve days of Christmas, only real. The amount of birds he had to buy alone! If he doesn't apply that effort to the bedroom, I'll beat him up until he does.
4. And no, I don't mean I want him to buy a bunch of doves and have them suddenly flapping around my light fixtures.
5. You know what I mean.
6. And then there's his complete obedience to his direct superior.
7. Yeah. I'm not going to explain that one.
And if none of those things were enough to convince you to fantasise about Andy Bernard on a regular basis, here is a picture of him, to seal the deal:
I know. I don't know what's wrong with me, either.