The Invention Of Lying: Fook me do I ever hate Ricky Gervais. He has all the range of a bollard. A bollard that makes you want to slap it. But the film wasn't so bad- great concept, middling execution. Somewhat spoilt by hi-larious 1950s housewife joke at the end. HUR HUR WOMEN ARE BAD AT COOKING SO GET UP AND COOK IT YOURSELF YOU TWAT.
The Wolfman: Can you imagine a film with a romantic female lead as unattractive, drugged looking and fat as Benicio Del Toro now is? I didn't think so. Also, he was woefully miscast. The intensity Ed Norton would have brought to the same role! How sad. Also, when we came out of the cinema, hubby said: when he was laid on top of her, struggling not to gore her, I thought: he just wants to whip out his giant wolf cock and do her.
Yes. My hubby said "giant wolf cock". He is orsum.
Away We Go: Great film. Moving. Loved it. Maya Ruydolph is a Goddess.
Tha Call Boys: Brace, by Madison Hayes: Hayes could write a sex scene that would make Ricky Gervais and Benicio De Toro sexy. Seriously. The book would be called "Bollard Sexes Up Fat Druggy" and I would buy it and download it and read it and afterwards smoke a ciggarette, even though I don't smoke. That's how good Madison Hayes is.
The Vampire Diaries: The TV show, I'm talking about. Which somehow seems to be a load of 90210 antics and precious little vampire stuff. Listen, right. I don't care about the brother's drug problem. If he turns into Benicio Del Toro in ten years time, so be it. What I do care about are those things, what are they called again oh yeah VAMPIRES. In a show called The VAMPIRE Diaries.
Look, just show Damon without his shirt on biting people for forty minutes, okay?
And here endeth this week's edition of some stuff I have watched and read. You were gripped, weren't you Bertha. I know. Next week: something what I ate on Tuesday.