Okay, so I don't think I've mentioned this actually on my blog, yet, which is a big oversight on my behalf, I know. Especially as it's probably one of the most exciting things to have happened to me to date in my writing career.
I got an agent.
No, no - really, I did. Don't go away laughing. I honestly got an agent - little tiny old me!
And it happened in this really overwhelming way, too. I queried an agent cos I managed somehow to get this big contract, and I thought to myself: well. I'll probably hear back after Christmas. Undoubtedly this agent is very busy and likely on holiday, now, so there's no way I'm going to hear immediatly.
And then two hours later, the phone rang. Yeah, you heard that right. THE PHONE RANG. Husband actually picked up and because there was a delay, he thought there was no one there. So I picked it up the second time and then heard this lovely American voice coming down the phone at me like a terrifying but wonderful dream of all the things my life could possibly be.
The agent in question didn't offer representation immediatly. She asked me questions, and I probably answered them like a maniac. I tried to outline my career goals without sounding like some jackass who has a headset phone and a marketing dossier and says yar, instead of yes.
And then she asked me to send her some material, and I did.
And yet again I thought: well, I'll probably have to sit tight, now. She's a very busy lady. She needs time to mull my work.
Only she got back to me about three days later, with an email that had the most beautiful words in the English language: "I'd be happy to offer you representation". Just like that! There weren't even any trumpets sounding from the heavens! I don't know what I did at this point. I think I fell back on my default position: I must have it wrong. She probably doesn't mean that. Find out more.
So I did. I asked questions, with the help of the fabulous Katie Reus. And then a day later I signed the contract. It's done. I am now represented by Jill Marsal of the Marsal Lyons agency.
And the big contract I needed help with? She looked it over within 24 hours, got it all sorted, negotiated things for me, and I sent it back within two days. So that's all done, too!
MAN I had a good Christmas. Of course, now I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop...
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Heart of Flame
So guess what? Because of the magicalness of epublishers like Samhain and Ellora's Cave, we get to have loads more Janine Ashbless books than ever before! Oh, I remember the days when I had to wait a whole year for a new Janine Ashbless book, back when Black Lace was still around. But no longer!
Behold, her new book from Samhain!
And she's here, on my little blog, as part of her blog tour for it! Hooray!
Take it away, Janine:
Hey Charlotte – it’s lovely to be here on your blog!
I’m approaching the middle of a blog tour for my Arabian Nights e-novel Heart of Flame, and I’ve already gabbed so much my throat is sore. So I thought that what I’d do here is give you a recipe for a fantastic refreshing drink I’ve enjoyed supping in Damascus. It’s a crazy vivid green, it’s frothy… it’s:
Laymoun Bi-Na’ Na’
(though no, there are no bananas involved)
6 lemons
1 pint cold water
225g / ½ lb powdered/icing sugar
2 fistfuls of fresh mint leaves
• Wash and slice two of the lemons and discard pips. Blitz them in a blender – yes, rind, pith and all.
• Add the juice of the other 4 lemons
• Add the water
• Blitz
• Add sugar to taste
• Add mint, blitz again until smooth. Drink fresh.
• Enjoy the sugar rush!
And if this is too sweet, then the other appropriate beverage for reading Arabian Nights stories to, is - of course - coffee. Take it strong, black and flavoured with cardamom. That’s how my heroine makes it :)
Have fun!
xxx
Janine Ashbless
www.janineashbless.blogspot.com
Orsum, right? Fab books AND drinks!
Here's the info for Heart of Flame, cos I know you want to run out and buy it immediately:
And on the One-Thousand-and-Second night, Scheherazade told this story…
By day, Taqla uses her forbidden sorcery to move freely about the city of Damascusin the guise of an old sage. Her true identity known only by her faithful servant woman, Taqla is content with the comfortable, if restrictive, life that keeps her safe from the control of any man. Until she lays eyes on a handsome merchant-traveler. Suddenly her magical disguise doesn’t rest so easily on her shoulders.
When long-time widower, Rafiq, hears that the Amir’s beautiful daughter has been kidnapped by a scheming djinni—and that she will be given in marriage to her rescuer—he seeks the help of “Umar the Wise” to ensure he will be that man. Yet as he and the disguised Taqla set off, he senses that his prickly male companion is hiding something.
In a moment of dire peril, all of Taqla’s secrets are stripped bare—her fears, her sorcery and, worst of all, her love for Rafiq. Yet the princess’s life hangs in the balance, and there is no running away or turning back. Even though passion may yet betray them all...
Product Warning: Scary monsters and creepy ruins in the desert—check. Pagan gods that demand blood-sacrifices—double check. A handsome hero who looks good in a robe and even better out of it—oh yeah. Check, check and check. That’s worth a heroine dropping a veil or two.
Heart of Flame sale link:
http://store.samhainpublishing.com/heart-flame-p-6571.html
What are you waiting for??
Behold, her new book from Samhain!
And she's here, on my little blog, as part of her blog tour for it! Hooray!
Take it away, Janine:
Hey Charlotte – it’s lovely to be here on your blog!
I’m approaching the middle of a blog tour for my Arabian Nights e-novel Heart of Flame, and I’ve already gabbed so much my throat is sore. So I thought that what I’d do here is give you a recipe for a fantastic refreshing drink I’ve enjoyed supping in Damascus. It’s a crazy vivid green, it’s frothy… it’s:
Laymoun Bi-Na’ Na’
(though no, there are no bananas involved)
6 lemons
1 pint cold water
225g / ½ lb powdered/icing sugar
2 fistfuls of fresh mint leaves
• Wash and slice two of the lemons and discard pips. Blitz them in a blender – yes, rind, pith and all.
• Add the juice of the other 4 lemons
• Add the water
• Blitz
• Add sugar to taste
• Add mint, blitz again until smooth. Drink fresh.
• Enjoy the sugar rush!
And if this is too sweet, then the other appropriate beverage for reading Arabian Nights stories to, is - of course - coffee. Take it strong, black and flavoured with cardamom. That’s how my heroine makes it :)
Have fun!
xxx
Janine Ashbless
www.janineashbless.blogspot.com
Orsum, right? Fab books AND drinks!
Here's the info for Heart of Flame, cos I know you want to run out and buy it immediately:
And on the One-Thousand-and-Second night, Scheherazade told this story…
By day, Taqla uses her forbidden sorcery to move freely about the city of Damascusin the guise of an old sage. Her true identity known only by her faithful servant woman, Taqla is content with the comfortable, if restrictive, life that keeps her safe from the control of any man. Until she lays eyes on a handsome merchant-traveler. Suddenly her magical disguise doesn’t rest so easily on her shoulders.
When long-time widower, Rafiq, hears that the Amir’s beautiful daughter has been kidnapped by a scheming djinni—and that she will be given in marriage to her rescuer—he seeks the help of “Umar the Wise” to ensure he will be that man. Yet as he and the disguised Taqla set off, he senses that his prickly male companion is hiding something.
In a moment of dire peril, all of Taqla’s secrets are stripped bare—her fears, her sorcery and, worst of all, her love for Rafiq. Yet the princess’s life hangs in the balance, and there is no running away or turning back. Even though passion may yet betray them all...
Product Warning: Scary monsters and creepy ruins in the desert—check. Pagan gods that demand blood-sacrifices—double check. A handsome hero who looks good in a robe and even better out of it—oh yeah. Check, check and check. That’s worth a heroine dropping a veil or two.
Heart of Flame sale link:
http://store.samhainpublishing.com/heart-flame-p-6571.html
What are you waiting for??
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Another Mancandy Christmas!
Yep, it's that time of year again. A time of eating beetroot and ham together until your poop turns a funny colour. A time of watching so many sitcoms on the telly you start wondering why the funny things people say don't have a laugh track. A time of obsessively playing your DS until one hand goes weird and you genuinely fear that you've somehow induced temporary paralysis.
But more than all of those things, it's also a time for giving. So for the two people who are still reading this blog, here are my gifts to you. Complete with badly drawn MS paint stockings:
Yeah, I don't know why his head's like that, either. He's perfectly acceptable in the flesh, I swear! Please don't try to exchange him at Marks and Spencers for a better model, with a non-pointy hairdo.
You know why he's smiling like that? Because he's popping out of a stocking, hooray! It's absolutely not because he's diddling himself just below the edge of that weirdly misshapen sock. I mean, seriously? Where would you put your toes in a sock like that? You'd have to have fookin' Barbie feet to manage those things. Yet oddly, you'd also need ankles the size of two Christmas hams.
Also: I have no idea why these men's legs are so small in general. Hopefully it's just because those socks are really sweaty, and their lower bits shrivelled up like fingers in a bathtub.
They'll pop right back into shape no problems, I swear.
I don't know why Fassbender looks so pensive while inside his sock, here. He's the one I thought I'd do a rude joke with - you know, like, having a penis peep over the edge of the stocking top or summat. I dunno. Maybe he's just disappointed that his is the most normal sock. He wanted to shove his Barbie feet into that one of Ryan Gosling's, then get an Oscar nom next year for his work in the masterpiece "My Feet Are Really Little".
It's his knee, all right? His knee. Don't look at me like that. I'd never give away peeping penises for Christmas!
Except I totally would, of course.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
But more than all of those things, it's also a time for giving. So for the two people who are still reading this blog, here are my gifts to you. Complete with badly drawn MS paint stockings:
Yeah, I don't know why his head's like that, either. He's perfectly acceptable in the flesh, I swear! Please don't try to exchange him at Marks and Spencers for a better model, with a non-pointy hairdo.
You know why he's smiling like that? Because he's popping out of a stocking, hooray! It's absolutely not because he's diddling himself just below the edge of that weirdly misshapen sock. I mean, seriously? Where would you put your toes in a sock like that? You'd have to have fookin' Barbie feet to manage those things. Yet oddly, you'd also need ankles the size of two Christmas hams.
Also: I have no idea why these men's legs are so small in general. Hopefully it's just because those socks are really sweaty, and their lower bits shrivelled up like fingers in a bathtub.
They'll pop right back into shape no problems, I swear.
I don't know why Fassbender looks so pensive while inside his sock, here. He's the one I thought I'd do a rude joke with - you know, like, having a penis peep over the edge of the stocking top or summat. I dunno. Maybe he's just disappointed that his is the most normal sock. He wanted to shove his Barbie feet into that one of Ryan Gosling's, then get an Oscar nom next year for his work in the masterpiece "My Feet Are Really Little".
It's his knee, all right? His knee. Don't look at me like that. I'd never give away peeping penises for Christmas!
Except I totally would, of course.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
HOMG Has It Been This Long?
I'm so sorry, blog. I've neglected you for days and days - months even! I don't even know what's been happening. I can't imagine what's kept me away from your loving arms for such an outrageous period of time. Apart from, you know. THE ONE HUNDRED AND TWO THOUSAND WORDS I WROTE IN NOVEMBER.
Yeah. You heard that right. Apparently I turned into a maniac for about a month. I turned into so much of a maniac that I actually did things like wonder why I was so drained and miserable so much of the time, and couldn't understand how I spent days and days wearing only a big orange dress and not washing my hair. One time I woke up half-naked on the couch, covered in cardigans, because I had mysteriously passed out and in an effort to shield my nudity from passer-bys, Husband had buried me beneath Marks and Spencers' winter collection.
But now I realise why all of these things happened, because I counted how much I wrote. And then wondered how I even managed to put on the big orange dress and not expose myself to the general public on a daily basis. I'm not even sure how I didn't faint from exhaustion, because here are the things wot I did:
1. 20k novella for Xcite. Written, edited, submitted and copy-edited.
2. 50k of novel for super sekrit speshul thing.
3. 20k of novel cut and rewritten.
4. 2 shorts written and edited and subbed. 10k.
5. 2k of novellas for Ellora's Cave.
6. Revisions on Ellora's Cave novella
7. Oh, and about 10k of blog posts written for places that aren't here. Please don't beat me up, blog. I'm already pretty battered. I think I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown because yesterday I cried over an episode of Friends. I cried because my work email wouldn't let me in, even though no one ever sends me emails cos I only work there one night a week. I cried because I found Spogs at a sweetie shop, and I cried when my novel wouldn't go right. I'm probably going to cry right after I've finished writing this, because I've got about 10k left of my novel and I know it's not going to go right either.
I'm so scared, blog, hold me!
Though in better news, I did get two beautiful new covers for my upcoming EC books. They're on the sidebar, if you want to have a look!
And I also got some pretty amazing reviews:
http://amberskye.net/2011/11/10/wherein-i-rave-about-a-book-and-rant-about-erotica/
Yeah. You heard that right. Apparently I turned into a maniac for about a month. I turned into so much of a maniac that I actually did things like wonder why I was so drained and miserable so much of the time, and couldn't understand how I spent days and days wearing only a big orange dress and not washing my hair. One time I woke up half-naked on the couch, covered in cardigans, because I had mysteriously passed out and in an effort to shield my nudity from passer-bys, Husband had buried me beneath Marks and Spencers' winter collection.
But now I realise why all of these things happened, because I counted how much I wrote. And then wondered how I even managed to put on the big orange dress and not expose myself to the general public on a daily basis. I'm not even sure how I didn't faint from exhaustion, because here are the things wot I did:
1. 20k novella for Xcite. Written, edited, submitted and copy-edited.
2. 50k of novel for super sekrit speshul thing.
3. 20k of novel cut and rewritten.
4. 2 shorts written and edited and subbed. 10k.
5. 2k of novellas for Ellora's Cave.
6. Revisions on Ellora's Cave novella
7. Oh, and about 10k of blog posts written for places that aren't here. Please don't beat me up, blog. I'm already pretty battered. I think I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown because yesterday I cried over an episode of Friends. I cried because my work email wouldn't let me in, even though no one ever sends me emails cos I only work there one night a week. I cried because I found Spogs at a sweetie shop, and I cried when my novel wouldn't go right. I'm probably going to cry right after I've finished writing this, because I've got about 10k left of my novel and I know it's not going to go right either.
I'm so scared, blog, hold me!
Though in better news, I did get two beautiful new covers for my upcoming EC books. They're on the sidebar, if you want to have a look!
And I also got some pretty amazing reviews:
http://amberskye.net/2011/11/10/wherein-i-rave-about-a-book-and-rant-about-erotica/
Yep, you read that right. Three top picks from Night Owl, an absolutely beautiful and intelligent and lovely review from the brilliant Amber Skye, an actual review from Book Binge - my first ever! - and a review from the mighty Jan Oda which made me feel all nervous and fluttery cos it's kind of like someone that important and ace at reviews sort of...I dunno. Knows about me and pays attention to my books. The review isn't completely positive, but those comments about my books being her erotica indulgence...
That kind of thing blows me away.
So there you have it. That was November. I've still got a deadline on December 15th coming up, and after that I have to start this merry-go-round all over again. New deadline for January 31st...
Think it's time I got myself a new big writing dress. Maybe I'll go with green, this time!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Some Stuff What I Have Done
So, I've just subbed three novellas. I'm alternating between feeling good about them, feeling terrible about them, and having dreams that feature some weird guy wanting to buy them because they're about a character called Aleph.
Just for the record, they're not. Nowhere in any of them is there an Aleph. But you can find out a bit about two of them - Sheltered and Doubled - over at Oh Get A Grip. I posted actually snippets from them, which is a big scary thing for me. Behold:
http://ohgetagrip.blogspot.com/2011/10/stupidly-timed-eye-problems.html
The third one on there, Love Letters, isn't quite done yet. The third sub I sent my editor was actually Singing Electricity, my werewolf thingie that I've had on my uhm and ah burner for a while now.
Because that's the thing, you see. I uhm and ah about a WIP, and then it never gets done. I second guess it - will readers like this bit, will they like that, am I just a giant idiot - and nothing moves forward.
Even now I'm second guessing myself over a whole host of things like:
1. What if the disaster I had with awful synopses means the stink of terribleness is now all over my stories?
2. What if my sales at EC are so bad for my latest book, that it can't possibly be a yes on any of my subs anyway?
3. What if the stories are just plain terrible?
4. What if it's all of the above, plus even more awful things I haven't thought of? Maybe I accidentally subbed that fanfic I wrote about Armie Hammer and Brandon Routh having sex all over me, even though I've never actually written anything like that I swear to God. I mean, the heroes in Love Letters kind of look like Armie Hammer and Brandon Routh, but I promise I've changed their names and given them personalities I thought up.
Now they're called Artie Bammer and Brendon South, and they're...uh...singers. Yeah. Singers.*
But I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah, back in boring old neurosis-land. Because it is boring. I know I'm boring people with it. But once you're stuck in it, it's so hard to get out of.
Though I did momentarily get out of it long enough to write about Sci-fi hunks. Hooray!
http://geekandkink.com/2011/10/the-new-era-of-tit-arms/
And also, All Other Things is now available on the Kindle and over at All Romance Ebooks:
http://www.amazon.com/All-Other-Things-ebook/dp/B005OYI2O8/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1318638351&sr=1-3
http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-allotherthings-605721-144.html
Double hooray!
*For those of you who may now be worried about my writing career, the characters are not really called Artie Bammer and Brendon South, and they're not singers, either. It's a passing resemblance, and nothing else, honest guv'nor.
Just for the record, they're not. Nowhere in any of them is there an Aleph. But you can find out a bit about two of them - Sheltered and Doubled - over at Oh Get A Grip. I posted actually snippets from them, which is a big scary thing for me. Behold:
http://ohgetagrip.blogspot.com/2011/10/stupidly-timed-eye-problems.html
The third one on there, Love Letters, isn't quite done yet. The third sub I sent my editor was actually Singing Electricity, my werewolf thingie that I've had on my uhm and ah burner for a while now.
Because that's the thing, you see. I uhm and ah about a WIP, and then it never gets done. I second guess it - will readers like this bit, will they like that, am I just a giant idiot - and nothing moves forward.
Even now I'm second guessing myself over a whole host of things like:
1. What if the disaster I had with awful synopses means the stink of terribleness is now all over my stories?
2. What if my sales at EC are so bad for my latest book, that it can't possibly be a yes on any of my subs anyway?
3. What if the stories are just plain terrible?
4. What if it's all of the above, plus even more awful things I haven't thought of? Maybe I accidentally subbed that fanfic I wrote about Armie Hammer and Brandon Routh having sex all over me, even though I've never actually written anything like that I swear to God. I mean, the heroes in Love Letters kind of look like Armie Hammer and Brandon Routh, but I promise I've changed their names and given them personalities I thought up.
Now they're called Artie Bammer and Brendon South, and they're...uh...singers. Yeah. Singers.*
But I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah, back in boring old neurosis-land. Because it is boring. I know I'm boring people with it. But once you're stuck in it, it's so hard to get out of.
Though I did momentarily get out of it long enough to write about Sci-fi hunks. Hooray!
http://geekandkink.com/2011/10/the-new-era-of-tit-arms/
And also, All Other Things is now available on the Kindle and over at All Romance Ebooks:
http://www.amazon.com/All-Other-Things-ebook/dp/B005OYI2O8/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1318638351&sr=1-3
http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-allotherthings-605721-144.html
Double hooray!
*For those of you who may now be worried about my writing career, the characters are not really called Artie Bammer and Brendon South, and they're not singers, either. It's a passing resemblance, and nothing else, honest guv'nor.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Mancandy Wednesday: Ryan Gosling
Okay, I won't deny it. The reason I like Ryan Gosling is almost entirely to do with his approach to sex scenes. Which is probably some method actor intense Stanislovsky thing where he immerses himself in a vagina for a year just to get it right, I know. But that's not how it comes across. To me, his sex scenes - even the tame PG-13 ones - come across like he's literally trying to kill the actress in question with sex.
And when I say literally, I mean literally. None of this half-assed figuratively bullshit. He's got laserbeams in his eyes and his cock is probably made out of Mount Doom, and he's attempting actual destruction of whoever he's in the scene with. He won't be satisfied until they're reduced to molten lava, by the sheer force of his intense raging passion.
Members of the camera crew were actually injured while filming his sex scenes in Blue Valentine, when Michelle Williams exploded. Swear to God. Rachel McAdams isn't actually alive anymore - they just cloned her out of the ash he reduced her to and what you're really looking at when you watch Morning Glory is something made out of a sheep and some leftover Molly Ringwald.
All of which suggests that I shouldn't really love Ryan Gosling. I mean, he's a lethal weapon. My vagina starts threatening meltdown just watching him through a TV screen - so Lord knows what volcanic pressures these poor actresses are under.
And it's not just his ability to telepathically control my nethers through the TV, like Sadako from Ring only orsum. There are a lot of very fierce things about Ryan Gosling that should probably frighten me.
Even though they totally don't. They don't. In fact, nothing about Ryan Gosling frightens me, and I think that's probably because he once played the sweetest, most innocent person to ever be in love with a sex doll.
I don't even know how that's possible, frankly. I saw that sex doll documentary, okay? I'm an erotic writer, and even I found them a little much to take. But not only is Ryan utterly orsum in Lars and the Real Girl, not only does he make it seem lovely to be in love with a sex doll, he's also still completely and massively sexy.
In fact, I think he's actually sexier than normal, in Lars. I desire his moustache, in it. I love his hair. I want to live in the cold with him, wrapped up in the million coats he probably has. Doesn't that sound like bliss? To be wrapped up in coats, with an intense but utterly sweet and innocent Ryan Gosling?
I think it does. And hey, if one day I managed to gently coax the volcano out of him and he ended up turning me to molten lava...well, that's okay.
I'd love him anyway.
Monday, October 3, 2011
More Winners!
Drumroll please!
The first name out of the hat to win a copy of All Other Things was...
Lynn!
And the second name...
Sommer!
Hooray!
Just email me at charlotte_stein@hotmail.co.uk guys, and I'll get those sent to you. Thanks once again to everyone who stopped by my little blog and entered. It really does me feel all warm and gooey inside.
Love,
Charlotte xx
P.S. All Other Things is now available on the Kindle! Look, here it is: http://www.amazon.com/All-Other-Things-ebook/dp/B005OYI2O8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1317688139&sr=1-1
The first name out of the hat to win a copy of All Other Things was...
Lynn!
And the second name...
Sommer!
Hooray!
Just email me at charlotte_stein@hotmail.co.uk guys, and I'll get those sent to you. Thanks once again to everyone who stopped by my little blog and entered. It really does me feel all warm and gooey inside.
Love,
Charlotte xx
P.S. All Other Things is now available on the Kindle! Look, here it is: http://www.amazon.com/All-Other-Things-ebook/dp/B005OYI2O8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1317688139&sr=1-1
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