Monday, November 29, 2010

Mancandy Monday: Jamie and Blake

So I'm in the middle of my neverending zombie apocalypse epic. Or more accurately, I'm towards what probably should be near the end at 48,000 words, but is actually nowhere near the end at all.

Mainly because I don't think I want to leave the two guys at the centre of the action too early. I just don't. I can tell. I want my heroine to keep porking them until the end of time, and at the moment she's only just started getting into the really dirty stuff.

She needs at least another 20k, in order to progress towards even dirtier, filthier stuff. I mean, come on. She's just been through two years of zombie hell. She had to mow them down in a big truck. Her best friend is dead. She deserves 20k extra of hot lovin', surely?

And I mean, just look at them.



They're hot, right? And if this makes my novel kind of like The A-Team only with more zombies and more nakedness and loads of threesomes, then so be it. I got no trouble with that. I wish The A-Team movie HAD contained more zombies and nakedness and threesomes. It could have been called "Sharlto Copley and Bradley Cooper Get Nude A Lot, Then Run Away From Zombies".

I mean, I don't know where the threesome equation comes into that, but after I've sat for an hour watching their wangs flap around in the breeze as they try to evade being eaten, I'm sure I could come up with something. After all, it's The A-Team. They could probably build a woman out of old bits of pipe and half a car battery.

And then you know. They do something with the woman they've built. Even though that sounds kind of depressing and like some sort of commentary on how sad and alone we all are, and especially when there's a zombie apocalypse going on.

Plus, just to be clear- my novel isn't really about two guys building a robot woman after being chased naked by zombies. Because that would just be...well. It would be totally orsum, but that's not the story I've written. I feel you need some sort of realism in a zombie apocalypse story, and that kind of gets chipped away just by having the zombies and the eventual threesome, so best that I avoided the whole robot angle.

And went with them finding a human woman who's dead inside, and then bringing her gradually back to life with the healing power of their total magnificent handsome orsumness.

God. Can you imagine if The A-Team movie had been like THAT? I mean, don't get me wrong. I loved it. I loved Murdock saying "Bosco, the buttons are confusing me". But how much better would it have been if he'd said "Bosco, my sexual feelings are confusing me"? Even if I have to confess I kind of can't get into A-Team slash that much because weirdly, Sharlto Copley/Murdock seems like the least gay man to ever exist in the history of the world.

It stretches the bounds of credibility, for me. Probably in the same way that having your heroes and your heroine bonk for the rest of the apocalypse stretches the bounds of credibility. But come on. I totally owe her that extra 20k of hot lovin'. I killed her whole family, after all. She should totally be allowed thousands and thousand of words about horny sex with hot guys.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Fun Facts About Control

So Madelynne Ellis did this. And I liked it. So I thought I'd do it, too.

But first, I just have to point out this amazing thing: Control is £2.80 on Amazon UK (for paperback!) and $4.21 on the Kindle on Amazon US! Can you believe that? Bargain, right? And since I'm sure this is some sort of one week only deal, grab a copy while you can!

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes. Fun facts about Control.

1. It was originally going to be set in a library. But then I realised I couldn't have half the kinky shenanigans going on, actually in the library. They'd be far too noisy. I mean a blowjob alone makes not just a bunch of pleasured groans, but a whole cavalcade of lip smackings and suction noises. Whereas the bookstore gave me a lot of...ahem...freedom.

2. At first, the book was going to be largely about Andy. Then it was going to be largely about Gabe. And then I realised it would be much more fun to just put the two together to make one shaky, horny menage. Hooray!

3. Andy is based on Alex O'Loughlin.

4. Gabe is based on...well. I'm sure you know by now who Gabe is based on.

5. Madison is based on...I don't know. Me, I guess? Though the odd and probably telling thing is that Gabe's obsession with horny books is actually my obsession. His story about discovering horniness through a horror story? That's from my life. So maybe we won't look too deeply into that.

6. The books named in Control are based on Menage, The Top Of Her Game, Crash Course, On Demand, The Stranger and Dreamers In Time. It's my homage to Black Lace, of course. In fact, my early love of Black Lace probably informed the book more than any other thing.

7. I did actually pick a specific street in York where I imagined the book shop being. We used to pass it often on the way to the cinema, and notice it because it had a big glaring sex shop right in the middle! I imagine Wicked Words would be just as glaring.

8. I totally wish Wicked Words was real. I basically created my fantasy book shop, and I swear to God I'd be in there every day. Of course, in reality it probably wouldn't survive three seconds. Thank God for fantasy! In fact, its survival is probably the most fantastical thing in the entire book.

So there you have it. I can't think of any more, now. Though if you've read the book, and have any questions about why I wrote about this weird thing or that, please feel free to ask! Not to mention enter the competition that's still going on. Just email me with the fake titles of some of the books in Control, and you could be in with a chance of winning my entire ebook backlist, plus three Cleis anthologies!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Mancandy Monday: Andy Yarrow From Control

Now, I know you all know why I dig Gabriel Kauffman so hard. He ticks all the boxes I often babble on about, on this blog. The repressed box. The dark-haired box. The sweater-vest box. The dick in a box. Etcetera.

But Andy Yarrow is more of a mystery. He ticks boxes I don't often think about, and man alive he ticks them hard. He doesn't give a shit if I have boxes or not. He just wants to get out his big tick and...

Well. I'm sure you get the picture.

You see, as much as I love a beta man, and as much as I love femdom...I do find that I like a contrast with those things. When I'm developing a huge stonking beast of a novel, I need some light, to the shade. Some aggressive to the submissive. Some alpha to the beta.

And that's what Andy is.

However, I think it's unfair to say to a totally fictional character that he's just the contrast to Gabriel's uptight submissive, because really, he was kind of around before Gabe was. The novel started out with him, looking all hot and surly and sweaty and tattooed. Based, pretty clearly, on this slab of man-flesh:

Then it suddenly sprouted Gabe, right when I hadn't even been considering going the femdom route. Which makes it sound as though I was very surprised by this- but I probably shouldn't have been. When I crush, I usually start off with someone obvious and handsome and probably a bit of a jerk- like, say Sirius Black.

And then suddenly I find myself utterly and hopelessly mad for Remus Lupin, who has crept up on me like something I didn't even know I wanted. Like something insiduous and with claws, that grips onto my brain and my lust hubs and won't let go.

The ones that creep never let me go. They stay in my imagination forever, and demand sequels, and I look back on them fondly like old lovers I never had.

Where as the Andys...yeah. The Andys are a little more disposable. A little more casual. Ready to jerk on my lust hubs* whenever I'm in the mood. But hey- I'm pretty sure that's just the way they like it.

Want a taste of Control? It's now totally available on Amazon, on either the Kindle or in paperback, US or UK. And it's available at Xcite, too!

*No, I've no idea what lust hubs are, either. They're not my boobs. Shut up. They're not.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Cora Zane: Connection

So the lovely Cora Zane (who I always secretly believe is secretly married to Billy Zane) has a book out over at the Cave, and she asked me if I'd do a post for her about it on my blog. To which I said yes, cos she's orsum and her novella is orsum and it's her first one for EC, and I know how nervous I was when that happen all those millions of...hours ago.

So here it is!

Fabulous cover:

Super amazing blurb (seriously. How amazing is this blurb? It sounds like the most interesting story of all time):

Gage is a cyber vampire, an AI being who feeds off energy, sexual and otherwise. Kiri loves that they can feel each other’s pleasure during sex…during those electric moments when Gage slips his fangs into her neck ports.

Kiri knew from the start Gage wanted a no-strings relationship, but hadn’t realized his bite would grant him access to her heart. Hadn’t counted on being so lost to pleasure she lets loose her innermost desire. Now Gage knows her secret, and Kiri can’t bring herself to face him.

But Gage has a secret too. He’s found more than sexual satisfaction with Kiri. He’s discovered the ultimate connection—and he’ll prove it the second he’s back in her bed.

Amazing flawless excerpt:

"An Excerpt From: CONNECTIONCopyright © CORA ZANE, 2010All Rights Reserved, Ellora's Cave Publishing, Inc.

“You’re more than welcome to join us,” Adam offered. Once again his gaze settled on her neck ports, and she shivered at the way his gaze caressed her like a physical touch. As androids, cyber vampires fed off sensual energy rather than blood. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind what this one wanted from her.

With his card tucked between his fingers and his arm resting on the back of the booth again, he created a space near the edge for her to sidle in next to him if that was her wish. “Interested?”

“Um, thanks, but…” Kiri just shook her head.

He’s not Gage. Fucking him won’t fix things.

She hated herself for having to rationalize it.

Ignoring the way her clit throbbed, she tucked the serving tray under her arm and left the suite in an effort to distance herself from the temptation. Once outside, she shut the door behind her and headed down the glass walkway that ran all the way around the cylinder-shaped club, connecting the circle of third-floor suites overlooking the main club area. A discreet stairwell tucked farther down the walkway spiraled behind the inner walls of the building, connecting the multiple levels.

As Kiri reached the stairwell, she stopped to look out over the glass riser edging the walkway, gazing down at the light show that pulsed and flickered over the dance floor. Instead of going straight down to check in at the bar, she stepped back into the shadows of the tiny third-floor landing and pressed her back against the wall on the other side of a waist-high vase of peacock orchids.

The music vibrated through her, the booming bass matching the desire throbbing through her body. Her inner thighs were slick with cream, her cunt aching for a man’s attention. She couldn’t get her mind off the scene in the suite. Kiri clamped her eyes shut tight, her conscience turning over the many reasons why she shouldn’t—why she wouldn’t—accept the blond man’s offer. There were many, but still her body nagged her for release. Craving a quick climax, she glanced off to the right, around the large plume of flowers, to see if anyone was coming up the stairs and saw no one. She was alone.

Heart galloping, her skin tingling with urgent need, she slipped her hand beneath her skirt, hesitating when her fingertips grazed the edge of her panties.

She wondered if she was far back enough from the glass riser to prevent anyone from looking up and seeing her. Were the shadows dark enough for true concealment?

To hell with it. Getting caught seemed a much lesser punishment than going unfulfilled."

And finally, to buy link. Because what are you waiting for?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Elise Hepner: Thumbtacks

So one day, I got a mentee called Elise. And she kept fighting even when I was Miss Bossy Pants and gave her tough lessons that Gabriel Kauffman would balk at, and she kept writing, and then one day she got her dream! A short story in a Rachel Kramer Bussel anthology! She's on her way, hooray!

But she's also an impatient little minxy, and a determined-to-get-her-work-out-there little scamp, so while you're waiting for her wonderful story in RKB's quickie anthology, she's only gone and self-pubbed something for your delectation!

And here it is, in all its glory.

Stupendous blurb:


Tyler and Brie share a quirky fetish--office supplies. Unable to embrace their mutual needs and desires in a work environment, the women have been meeting in secret every week to troll the local office supply store for a little foreplay. But now it's no longer enough.

Driven by their boss's orders that they go pick out a new printer for the office, they are unable to fight their mutual desire for each other while surrounded by so much temptation. What follows is a torrid session in office politics that could get them fired--and laid.

Magnificent excerpt:

"Tyler's gaze skittered across her co-worker’s features as if she were afraid if she looked too long she would give in to her lustful cravings. Brie wasn’t helping by drawing attention to her luscious mouth that would look perfect locked onto Tyler’s nipple. Their gazes connected. Brie’s eyes were suggestive all the time, but she acted like a woman who just didn’t understand she was a walking billboard for sex. Her eyes were a light green like the skin of a Granny Smith apple flecked with gold and the long, extra large kid’s pencil she shoved in her scarlet hair to keep it in a bun never failed to capture Tyler’s attention. Every day it was a new pencil. Today there were multicolored hearts with a rainbow eraser. What would it be like to do luscious acts with that long, firm piece of wood? Barely breathing, Tyler crossed her arms tight hoping to draw attention away from her hard, aching nipples.

“I think the laser printer with the large paper capacity and fold out tray would be handy to have around the office. Optional color is something most of the staff have never seen before and it’ll help with Power Point print outs and graphing.”

Thank god. When she found her voice it only came out slightly tremulous.

“Whatever you think is best.”

When Brie deferred to her like this her pulse roared in her ears. Her co-worker’s melodious voice was soft, like a Disney princess, and it awoke in her a feeling of longing that Tyler hadn’t known existed. It was a fight to hold back the thought of that voice lost in orgasm, crying out her name. So many fantasies sifted through her mind. Greed grasped onto her lust until nothing else made sense but burying her face in those perky, milky white breasts and opening up a sexual self that had been lost through all the late nights and early days at the office. Dominant, power hungry thoughts that had never entered her mind until she met this woman—and now she couldn’t seem to stop them. Caught in minute-by-minute fantasies, until her flesh burned with a blush that made her throat tight. Now Tyler’s fingers tensed into fists. Better to keep her hands from pulling back into all that gorgeous, scarlet hair until Brie whimpered in pleasure and the over-sized pencil of the day hit the floor. It wasn’t polite to maul someone in public."

And the to buy link. Because you know you want it.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Mancandy Monday: Gabriel Kauffman From Control

If you know me, you know before I explain it what Gabriel Kauffman is like. Light of my life. Grain in my coffee. Apple of my eye. My ideal man: Gabriel Kauffman.

But let's say you don't know me. You have no idea that Gabriel Kauffman is one of the main characters in my first ever novel, Control. Or that he is bound to be a certain way, because I have a kink in my make-up, a fetish for this sort of man, an uncontrollable urge to smear him all over my writing because of many things, all of them strange.

In which case, allow me to paint a picture of Gabriel. And also a picture of the insides of my head, thusly:

1. He puts plastic on his furniture. I honestly don't know why I find a man who puts plastic on his furniture so compelling, or so sexy. Maybe it's the smell of polythene. Maybe it's the thought of him lovingly encasing everything but his penis in giant condoms. Maybe I should just move on to the next thing about Gabriel, and why I like him.

2. He side parts his hair. Oh God, for a man who side parts his hair! The rigidity. The nerdiness. The urge in me to lick the line of white between the two wings of black...oh.

3. His hairiness. Yep, I've said it before and I'll say it again. There is nothing quite like a man who's outwardly repressed and uptight, but inwardly hard-bodied and covered in manly hair and I'll move onto the next one to fully expand on this concept.

4. The fact that he surreptitiously reads dirty books. Mainly ones aimed at women. I loved writing him and just loved him for that for two reasons. a) It meant I got to express my love for Black Lace and the burgeoning erotic romance genre through him, in a cheeky way and b) It means he's horny. Beneath the glasses and the general Clark Kent get up and the tweed, Gabriel Kauffman is irrepressibly, rampantly horny.

And that, ladies and gents, is why I adore Gabriel Kauffman. It's why I wrote a good half of a book about him and his adventures with Madison Morris and Andy Yarrow. And you can read that book right now, because it's out today.

It's not yet up on Amazon, but you can get it through third party sellers, here:
You can buy it here on the Kindle:

Or you can get it direct from Xcite, in PDF or paperback form:

(where it's also three for two on most of their erotic books)

Or here at the Xcite US store:

Or you can enter a giveaway to win a copy, here, at Goodreads:

And you can also enter a competition that I'm going to do right here- though this one's going to be a little different. It might not work. Maybe this is a dumb idea. But I'm going to give it a go anyway cos I was never one to shy away from dumbness. As you know.

Anyhoo, here it is: buy a copy of Control. PDF, paperback, doesn't matter. Read it, and then email me with the answer to the following question:

1. Name the four books Madison finds in Gabriel's drawer under the bed, that she then cites as her favourites.

The competition will close on December 1st, at which point I'll draw out a name from the hat. And because I'm asking you to go to some trouble in order to win this competition, the winner will receive a far more fabulous and cool prize than just one plain old copy of my newest release. Oh yes. The winner will receive a copy of all of my ebooks - including the upcoming Master Me anthology from Total-E-Bound - and paperback copies of the Cleis Press anthologies Fairytale Lust, Fast Girls and Orgasmic.

What do you think? If you like it, enter it! Maybe you've already bought Control, in which case- easy peasy! But remember- don't comment with your answer. Email me at

Even if it's just to tell me how dumb this idea is.

Next week: Andy Yarrow, and how man-candy-licious he is.

Thursday, November 4, 2010


I'm writing this post because it'll show up on Goodreads, and then possibly all the people who've been good enough to enter my contest for Control, and add my book, and friend me and do that fan thing will maybe get to know how much I appreciate them.

Thank you so much, every one of you. Thank you, thank you. It means the world to me, even if many of you entered or added my book cos you thought it was that other Control. I don't care why you're here. I'm just thrilled that you are.

And now I don't want to sound like some stupid Oscar speech person or like some braggart or some smug or summat, so I'll just leave it at that.


Charlotte Stein