Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Mancandy Monday: That New Dude Off Of True Blood

I mean, what the what?

Is this guy even real? He must be real, 'cause I'm currently looking at him. I see him on True Blood every week, floating across the screen in a haze of too-handsomeness, rippling his abs all over the place as though yeah. My eyes can take it. My loins understand, insanely handsome rippling person.

What's the matter with him, being this handsome? I mean, how selfish can you be, to take other men's quotient of handsomeness? Because he's clearly stole a buttload of goodlooking from other, less fortunate dudes. Like Michael York.

And in all honesty, I don't know what to make of that. Or of him. Science tells me I should fancy him. Or at least, the made-up junk in my head that passes for science tells me I should fancy him. But I'm not sure I do.

Maybe he's just...too handsome? He's so handsome, that romance novel covers are having orgasms, just thinking about him being on them. Flexing his mantitty and scowling moodily at things. In that picture alone, he looks as though the far off heaving bosom of some probably purple dress wearing heroine is giving him extreme constipation. All he needs is a rearing horse behind him, and maybe a sword stabbing into a hill, and perhaps a crashing wave, and he's all set.

And yet I still don't know if my loins want to burn for him.

You confuse me, New Dude Off Of True Blood. You confuse me so much that I can't even remember your name.


  1. Maybe he's just...too handsome?

    We used to know a very classically good-looking guy (friend of friends), and Helia commented to me that his movie-star good looks made him difficult to look at. (Not because she was overcome and swooning, but just because the blinding handsomeness was sort of hard on the eyes.)

  2. lol, a good post, although I always get the whole "I feel like a cougar" when I look. :)

  3. It's okay, my loins will burn enough for us both. :)

  4. Jeremy- I can totally understand that. It's like sometimes, when you stare at a handsome person, you feel as though you're staring at someone's third arm. You don't mean to stare or draw attention to it, and it shouldn't be the most important thing about them, but somehow it is. So you don't stare. So that they don't think you're staring just because they have a third arm.

    Also, Michael York DOES look like a camel!

    Jodi- Is that you, cup o noodles? From RD? Hello! Thanks for visiting! And no no no- don't feel like a cougar. Look at his lush, full beard! He's probably secretly 75.

    Hailey- Your loins burn brightly, in the darkness that is my fear of him being too handsome. They lead the way towards the ultimate truth: that no man who looks like that should ever be denied loin burning.

  5. Meheh. I like your third arm theory. Yes indeed. I'm not caught up enough to have been blinded yet but I think I might pack in a few episodes tonight.

    My husband borrowed someone's collection and we;ve had it months. Should I be feeling guilty that we haven't returned it? I don't know. I'll let handsomeness wipe the worry from my mind...

    Woman - what'sthe deal? have you seen the A team yet??

  6. I think Jeremy and Helia have a point - the few drop-dead good lookers I've known have been difficult to look full in the face. Even if I wasn't, I felt as if I was STARING at them, which was unsettling.

  7. He's pretty nice... but more importantly, how are you managing to watch True Blood series three already?!

  8. Jo- You should only feel guilty that you haven't watched its orsumness yet. And LOL about A-Team. Are you waiting on my review? Are other people? I did tweet madly about it after I'd seen it. It made my life, obviously. "Bosco, the buttons are confusing me"- I died.

    Justine- Inorite? I mean, do they get creeped out by the staring? I feel bad.

    Lucy- I have friends in high places. Contacts in America. Probable teleportation devices. It's one of those.

  9. Meh, they may get creeped out by staring but they'd be more creeped out if no one did.

    Ah, I sense piracy about these here waters...

    Yes, I'm awaiting your review - I've resisted Twitter and will continue to. I waste too much of my life on here as is.

  10. whoops. Just reread that last comment. Not on HERE here. The interweb generally, of course. Arg!

  11. Well, it's not as if I was going to resist series three of True Blood anyway. But now ... let's just say I am preparing in advance for my loins to burn. Soaking them in lighter fluid and stuff.

  12. Jo- I knew what you meant! And am gonna do a review soon, really soon, it's gonna be epic. Or maybe just bonkers.

    Janine- You won't be sorry you watched it. Am just now counting off the things in my head that you're gonna love!