Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Mancandy Monday: Niles Crane

Don't look at me like that. He's hot, okay? Or more accurately, I've been watching a lot of Frasier, recently, and I keep noticing little weird things about him that disguise themselves as hot. Or maybe they don't disguise themselves. Maybe they are just hot. I don't know.

I've compiled a list, to help me decide:

1. He's really hairy. I know when you look at him it doesn't seem like he's hairy, but I promise he is. You can take my word for it. Though really, you're going to have to take my word for it because I mysteriously can't find a bare-chested picture of him.

2. Whenever he's about to say something witty, he gets this little cheeky glint in his eye. I deeply enjoy the contrast between witty, and cheeky. As though witty to him is just cheeky, because he's that brilliant or I don't know. I'm just rambling now about stuff in his eyeballs.

3. All the random bursts of total horniness. He's uptight and stuffy and he wipes chairs down before he sits on them. And yet he lusts like a lusty thing on lust day after Daphne, and various other women on the show. If you read this blog often, you'll know why this bangs my gong. Because I like men who are probably gay sniffing a woman's hair, I guess.

4. He's one of the greatest comedy characters to ever be on television. No really, he is. He's all the things that Frasier isn't, and all the ridiculous lengths Frasier won't go to. His comic timing is impeccable, he's sharp and dry and has an imaginary wife for most of the series. He utters the immortal line "You got to pick where you would be having your sleepings", and forever after I've called falling asleep as doing sleepings. Few characters come close to Niles Crane in terms of comedic flawlessness- maybe Blackadder. Possibly Bender. Could be that Rimmer makes it.

But the problem with Rimmer and Blackadder and Bender?

They're not Niles Crane.


  1. I have to agree about the glint in his eye, though I must question the hairiness of his chest.

    That might just be me, as I like my men chest hair free. It allows for more licking of the flesh and less flossing of the teeth.

  2. Did you ever see Down with Love? He's the BFF to Ewan MacGregor's character and Pierce is HI-larious:
    "I think Vickie was only talking about marriage so I'd want to have sex with her. And then I did, and now she never talks to me, except to come back for more. And I always give in. I feel so used."

  3. I have no idea what it says about me that I followed and nodded at each comment. I knew I preferred Niles to Fraiser, but WOW.

  4. I think the end bit where's he's ironing and sets the sofa on fire and keeps fainting is the best bit of physical comedy I've ever seen.

    I know what you mean, I have to say.

  5. Hailey- LOL! I used to love a smooth chest, but I think Zachary Quinto completely turned me on that one. There's just something about a man who doesn't *seem* that masculine, but then you get his clothes off and BAM!

    Verona- I love that movie! And as you probably know, I love that they have a guy uttering that line.

    Sasha- Love of him sneaks up on you, like a creeping zombie. We should get badges, and form a club!

    Jo- That's one of my fave bits! I think the producers were actually surprised that he turned out so good at physical comedy. He truly is a masterclass.

  6. OMG! Finally, someone who also thinks that Niles Crane is a little, neurotic slice of man candy. I think it's his jaw and those expressive hands. Tasty!

  7. You mean there are people who don't fancy Niles? That's news to me. He can visit my private box at the opera any night of the week.

  8. *flails* oh my gosh how did I miss this post? And also how did I never realize that I wasn't the only one! Niles is just so delightfully...Niles. And David Hyde Pierce is indeed one of the best comedic actors working today, I think.

  9. Not sure that I can add anything new. I just watched the entire Frasier series from start to finish, and fell in love with Niles all over again. I do love the surprise hairiness. And the scene where he's brazenly twirling/smelling a strand of Daphne's hair while he's behind her is one of the most erotic things I've ever seen. DHP is a truly gifted actor - he did everything the writers asked of him (and sometimes I disagreed with their decisions), and he made it true to the character. Great dancer, great physical comedian...I only wish he'd been in more stuff. Thanks for this post!