Thursday, January 22, 2009

My Book!

Okay, so thanks to a certain fabulous personage, I discovered that my book is up on Amazon, which probably means I can talk about it without fear of it all floating away.

So yeah. Black Lace offered me a contract (is that how you should put it it? I am so not up on bizness lingo) for my own collection of short stories, and so I will shortly be a bonafide published author, if all goes to plan.

Of course I still dream that I just imagined it all and then I wake up and its real. I still wonder how on earth I dared send off my first story after sixteen years of writing and writing and loving writing but never daring to submit. I still can't believe that Adam Nevill not only took the first story I ever submitted, but seems mad enough to believe that other stories of mine are good too, and that I deserve my own collection.

I don't know whether to keep thanking him until I die of thanking, or be concerned for his mental health. Or my own mental health. Maybe I'm actually in a loony bin imagining all of this, crayoning on the backs of cereal boxes and calling them my published works, and emailing my imaginary editor on an old broken phone strapped to a television.

But either way, I'm too excited to wee. I've been storing up wee since May.

Anyways, here is the Amazon link, Bertha. It's meant to be called The Things That Make Me Give In (minor typo being rectified. No, this is not a subtitle):

Let's revel in it, Bertha. Let's memorise it. Let's print it out and frame it along with the first ever cheque I got for published work, my first contract for a short story, the envelope the stuff came in, Adam's first email to me, the clothes I was wearing when I first got something accepted (a nightie. I came downstairs bleary eyed and alone in the house, only to find that I was now Charlotte Stein, Author, with no-one to tell. My friend called me back first - the Mighty Sef - and made me explode by saying "Is that Charlotte Stein, writer?"), a sample of the air I was breathing at the time, a napkin from the celebratory meal...

I have a lot of framed things in my house.

So anyhoo, I know I don't get to choose a cover- and wouldn't have it any other way. I'd probably have this:

But oh, I can dream of either a ladee with an expression very much like this one on the lovely Sally Hawkins' mug:

Or Matthew Macfadyen without any clothes on. Can't I?


  1. You sez:
    "It's meant to be called The Things That Make Me Give In (minor typo being rectified. No, this is not a subtitle)"

    Of course it's not: obviously, the subtitle is "dp/035234542X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1232636907&sr=1-," just like the link says. ; )

    But the subtleties of subtitles notwithstanding ('cause there were some extra seats left, after all), this is indeed very exciting news! I can't promise I'll defer weeing any more than on an average day ... but I'll think enthusiastically of your book next time I have to go. (And if you've read any of my kinkier stories, you'll know I mean that very much as a compliment.)


  2. Waaah, how exciting is that? Are you still cackling manically hours later? I know I would be! Also, I love that title (even in its slightly quaint amazon version, which sounds as if it should be followed by 'arrr, lad').

  3. I now long for my subtitle to be dp/035234542X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1232636907&sr=1-

    It's a book about robots, or summat. That guy on the front cover of my genious mock up is the robot who can't pee.

    You can be the guy who does pee, all the time, just for my Sally Hawkins heroine. Either that, or I'll just have to be satisfied with you thinking of my book when you do number one. Which I am.

    "Are you still cackling manically hours later?"

    I will be cackling three years later. And laughing about aarrrrr, lad!

    Ta peeps! Loves yas!

  4. Charlotte, that is totally f***ing awesome! (am I allowed to use naughty words on your blog?) You SO deserve a showcase antho of your own. Didn't I say you were going to be a big Name? Didn't I? Congratulations! I will be buying it.
    P.S : any theme? fantasy?
    P.P.S: Have you noticed that someone is already claiming to have one for sale? Isn't Amazon weird like that? One hasn't even hit publication date but there are second-hand copies available.

  5. Hello there - it's me! I am posting on your blog, are you proud?

    Anyhoo - super news, well deserved and a big I TOLD YOU SO from me. I can't wait to read your book. Hopefully there is a story about a small blonde lady and an ev0l Regency-era husband who somewhat resembles Lord Voldiemort Fiennes. Sort of like a sexy gurning version of Leonard Rossiter in period costume.

    I've gone off topic - sorry. Viper w00000000t!

  6. Janine, thank you so much- for all of your kindnesses and for your awesome. And swear away! Fuck fuck fuckity shitting bollocks!

    And it has no real theme, apart from women giving in to lots of pervery, maybe. All contemporary stories, no fantasy or paranormals or anything. Would love to one day do summat like that, tho. I've got a million ideas clamouring for my attention right now, but I've got a billion more fantasy/sci-fi/paranormal concepts.

    And SEEEEFFFFFFfFf!1!11 Sef is in my blog, yeah! Am so proud. At first I thought you'd done a blog yourself and got all excited. But I'm still excited that you're here! It's so nice to see you, and see someone from lofg!

    I've sort of done a story- not based on you! But kind of your essence. Big tree men who are a bit dumb. Little clever lady. V. dirty. BAAAAAADD!11

    *hugs Sefi*

  7. Sweetie - my essence? Wowsers. And HAHAHAHA. I wonder what/who gave you that idea?

    Look forward to your tales, as always. Keep up the good work!

  8. Congrats, Charlotte! I love that title. I'm very much still asleep right now so I can't say anything witty, but that is very cool. ; )

  9. Thanks Nikki! It's the name of one of the stories, but it was Adam who suggested it as the name of the whole thing, after a boatload of my terrible suggestions.

    And you don't have to say anything witty. Just your majestic presence all up in my blog is enough.