Thursday, February 18, 2010

Some Stuff I Have Watched And Read This Month

Okay, so:

The Invention Of Lying: Fook me do I ever hate Ricky Gervais. He has all the range of a bollard. A bollard that makes you want to slap it. But the film wasn't so bad- great concept, middling execution. Somewhat spoilt by hi-larious 1950s housewife joke at the end. HUR HUR WOMEN ARE BAD AT COOKING SO GET UP AND COOK IT YOURSELF YOU TWAT.

The Wolfman: Can you imagine a film with a romantic female lead as unattractive, drugged looking and fat as Benicio Del Toro now is? I didn't think so. Also, he was woefully miscast. The intensity Ed Norton would have brought to the same role! How sad. Also, when we came out of the cinema, hubby said: when he was laid on top of her, struggling not to gore her, I thought: he just wants to whip out his giant wolf cock and do her.

Yes. My hubby said "giant wolf cock". He is orsum.

Away We Go: Great film. Moving. Loved it. Maya Ruydolph is a Goddess.

Tha Call Boys: Brace, by Madison Hayes: Hayes could write a sex scene that would make Ricky Gervais and Benicio De Toro sexy. Seriously. The book would be called "Bollard Sexes Up Fat Druggy" and I would buy it and download it and read it and afterwards smoke a ciggarette, even though I don't smoke. That's how good Madison Hayes is.

The Vampire Diaries: The TV show, I'm talking about. Which somehow seems to be a load of 90210 antics and precious little vampire stuff. Listen, right. I don't care about the brother's drug problem. If he turns into Benicio Del Toro in ten years time, so be it. What I do care about are those things, what are they called again oh yeah VAMPIRES. In a show called The VAMPIRE Diaries.

Look, just show Damon without his shirt on biting people for forty minutes, okay?

And here endeth this week's edition of some stuff I have watched and read. You were gripped, weren't you Bertha. I know. Next week: something what I ate on Tuesday.


  1. The Vampire Diaries is lacking in Vampire action but just looking at Damon makes up for it!

  2. I certainly agree with you on Ricky Gervais. He has one comic character, which seems to be be basically an extension of his own personality, and I'm bored with it. He also launched a completely unwarrented, homophobic and moronic public attack on a book I think rather highly of. So he's a twat.

  3. Leetid- true story!

    Janine- Exactly. Exactly. He's just so obnoxious. And he's been riding the wave of The Office for far too long, even though it wasn't a genius performance at all. It was one note, an extension of his own personality, as you say, and a direct take-off of the boss from the reality show Holiday Reps.

    Steve Carell does so much more with almost the exact same material.