Monday, April 6, 2009

Mancandy Monday: The Janitor

Yeah, it's another weird one this week. Sue me- I've been watching long stretches of sitcoms to keep my spirits up while writing and writing and writing.

So this week, it's The Janitor, from Scrubs. This guy:

It took me a while to appreciate the beauty of Janitor. He just whittled away at my heart with all of his little weird moments in Scrubs. How can a guy so ginormous and handsome be so odd? I love big handsome guys who are odd. I'd pet his squirrel army, and I'd never imply that he couldn't think of the word sad, so had to use mop instead. I'd be his wife with only pointer, and thumb-pinky. I'd call him Dr Jan Itor, if that's what he wanted.

Then I'd climb him like a tree. Oh, Janitor.

P.S. So last night, I handed in my anthology to Adam!!!1!11!11!1 Effing hell, can you believe it? I couldn't believe it. I got a fourteen story antho done for him in four and a bit months, AND gave him an extra five stories- just in case. Not only that, but I'm partially happy with what I produced! I just hope he likes them. I worry that a) the overall tone is a bit too sombre and b) the stories aren't erotic enough and c) some things in the stories are a bit too same-y. But I guess everyone has these worries once they've handed something in. I also worried that I hadn't formatted everything correctly, but Adam was good enough to point me in the direction of the tab key without making me feel like a fool. He's simply the best editor to ever exist.

Oh tab key! I previously never knew you existed, but now I love you! You will save me a whole extra bash on the space bar, and make me not look like a div to editors. I should have made this Mancandy Monday: The Tab Key.


  1. Oh, I'd let Dr. Jan Itor clean me up, but good!

    !!! CHARLOTTE! YAY FOR YOU!!! 19 stories in 4+ months! You're an enviable marvel! A wunderkind! CONGRATULATIONS! Pop the bubbly!

    I haven't seen what you handed in but it does sound like you're experiencing the normal kinds of writers' postpartum self doubts. Not to diminish what you're feeling but you're too close to it, you know? I'll bet you'll get some nice feedback from Mr Nevill and will then feel better. (BTW, I'm a great fan of the tab key meself. There's something sexy and gratifying about hitting it. Then again I have a key fetish; I've yet to meet a key I didn't like, though the ones my pinkie has to strive for do annoy me slightly. Also, getting fukt by foreign keyboards where the letters are not in the QUERTY order, not to mention the accents et al.)

    I concur: Adam is *lovely*, based on my exchanges with him so far. Editors like that don't grow on trees.

  2. Massive congratulations! Well done! You must feel exhilarated in the extreme. I bet everyone has that dread that they have completely buggered up the brief - I know I have - and I'm sure your fears are unfounded and TTTMMGI (as I like to call it) will hit the spot dead on.

    What *is* the tab key for then?

  3. Yay for stories. You are pretty amazing, Ms Stein.

    Yay for big handsome odd guys too.

    Boo to foreign keyboards. The French ones drive me nuts.

  4. Congrats Charlotte.

    Yeah, what is the tab key for, I use the indentation function.

  5. "Oh, I'd let Dr. Jan Itor clean me up, but good!"

    Hee hee! Oh, I was so glad when he got a girlfriend on the show. Kiss her, kiiiiisssss herrr!1!1!

    And I ain't a wunderkind or anything like it- I just got time on my hands and managed to write fifty million cr*ppy words a second. Luck and rubbishness combine to make the ultimate story churner.

    You're right, tho, about me being too close to it. On a technical level, I know my writing's okay. But do the stories grip? Are they sexy? Do they all read right together? I won't know that until Adam's read it. Or until someone else has. Only the great and fabbo Sefi has read any of the stories - for which I'm eternally grateful - but the rest was done in a vacuum. But then, all my stories have been written without any input.

    And ohhhh, I would hate foreign keyboards! In a different order??? ARGH!

    Justine- thanks. And also thanks for calling it TTTMMGI. That's so cool! Also, it kind of sounds like hospital equipment, heh. And you won't have buggered up the brief, so stop dreading (unless you've stopped dreading already, in which case, yeah!).

    Sefi- thanks, bebes. You the best. You are my piece of fluff in a vacuum, all reading mah stories.

    And finally- the tab key. The tab key, that I had to look up pictures of on the interwebz. It's that button on the keyboard with two arrows on, and basically you hit it and it automatically indents your paras the right length. I swear it does! It's amazing. Adam told me about it, and I was like, fuh? How many inches do you want me to indent by? And he goes: no no no, Charlotte. Just hit tab. Trust me.

    And lo! It did move my paragraphs!

    And okay, he didn't really use those words, like the hero in a massive action picture getting me to hit the button or we'll all die. But he's still orsum.

  6. Congratulations! I'm seconding "wunderkind." We should all buy you a drink at the wunderbar.

  7. That would indeed be wunderbar!

  8. Thanks, Jeremy!

    *clinks glasses together at the wunderbar*

    Which sounds like the best place EVA.